5.10.2008

Ouroboros

When I'm stressed, I focus on the image of Ouroboros - the snake eating its own tail.

It helps remember that everything is cyclical, everything comes back around, everything in its own time. Whether I'm worried about not running enough, not getting enough work done, not being "good enough," I try to remember that for every action an equal and opposite reaction, for every worry, every stress, a moment of confidence, of salvation.

I woke up this morning intending to run for three hours. It was hard to get out the door. After my obligatory cup of coffee, I made myself another and fought off hunger pains (I hate to eat before a run) while I got dressed. I sort of set myself up for failure there, because I pulled on my least favorite running shorts. They're old and faded and they've never fit well. I knew, in the back of my mind, that I didn't want to wear them for three hours.

I eventually dragged myself down the driveway and onto the street. As soon as I picked up my feet and kicked it into gear, my legs felt tired, my shoulders sore, my head achy from my too-tight ponytail. Blahblahblah...

It became too much. I stopped running less than a mile from my house. I turned around and ran home, exchanged my running clothes for sweats, and have been reading and writing ever since. On a beautiful Saturday. It feels wrong but it shouldn't. This exhaustion is a direct of the excitement and energy I've been feeling lately, and giving in to the tired, lazy day is not failure, but part of the cycle. Just like Ouroboros.


6 comments:

Kate said...

Great thoughts about Ouroboros. I read something the other day about the the fact that you are experiencing stress (or loss, on anger or any negative reaction) is because you have once felt the opposite so you are able to see the contrast. I've thinking about this in moments of stress lately- telling myself that I know what it is to be calm, etc.

Hope tomorrows run is more fullfilling!

KatieGirlBlue said...

That's a brilliant perspective. Kind of reminds me of how, if we were never sad, we'd never know how wonderful it feels to be happy....Good stuff.

Paige Jennifer said...

Sometimes you need days like these. For three weekends in a row I didn't motivate much. I still did things like paint my bedroom and dust away the inch of pollen and fuzz that had accumulated on my furniture. But for the most part I didn't venture out until later afternoon if not early evening.

PS: You probably ran further than I did today! Finally on asthma meds and for the first time in forever, ran/walked 2 miles in 30minutes. Look out runners, here I come! Okay, maybe not.

Joy Joy said...

I appreciate the feeling of tired legs and the need to rest--it is nearly always best to listen to the cues your body gives! It doesn't mean you'll feel like that on race day--what race is in the works, anyway? I find long runs are best unplanned, at least that cuts down on the anxious anticipation. Best of luck in your endeavors...

I Love Your Whole Face said...

Don't worry about it. Everyone has those days with running. I have a love/hate relationship with running constantly. Just think that tomorrow will be a much better run.

Wasatch Girl said...

Great post! Sounded like you needed a day off, so good for you for taking one. Sometimes it is easy to just keep on pushing, when in reality we just need to rest.