Terrible and Unthinkable

Chris Hunnicutt died today. Our friend, our housemate, our new brother. He was climbing the Stairway to Heaven in Provo Canyon. He was out of screws and running it out. He was level with the anchor (tree) and traversing toward it when he came off and fell upwards of 120 feet. He landed on his head and by all accounts, was killed immediately.

I am sad for Chris, who was sweet and gentle and kind and humble. I am sad for his family - his brother, Paul, and his parents. They were very close. Paul flew in to Salt Lake tongiht; Brad and Courtney (one of Chris's close friends) just left to pick him up.

I am so angry at the universe for taking another good one. What about the pedophiles, the rapists? Why take Chris? And as I type I'm struck by the audacity of calling the universe out on something - like I expect the universe to subscribe to my structure of fairness. It's anthropomorphizing to an utmost.

TTW WOW

This morning, Terry Tempest Williams spoke at a bi-Annual meeting of Conservation Alliance members. Without a doubt the most powerful and engaging speaker I've ever heard, TTW rapt the audience instantly and gracefully as she fused poetry and fiction with personal stories of sadness and triumph.

Her powerful and careful words made me want to write more, read more, use words more. I was shaking when I walked up to her after the talk. I asked her to sign my 11-year old copy of Refuge - first given to me at 18, a freshman in college and unaware that a book could take such hold of me - on one of my favorite pages.

It was a breathtaking morning. It got me thinking of my favorite work by Edward Abbey, "The Journey Home." She mentioned, this morning, "Natural Resources" by Adrienne Rich, which I'd also like to check out. I also want to read "Words That Work" and one other, though I can't think of it now.

It was a good day, made so largely, I'm sure, by the long run that started the morning. In the dark, up City Creek Canyon, with Megan, talking about the future, our jobs, the environment and politics.

Haiku

We're tired after skiing.
Laughing and talking.
Together, content and warm.

Ow. Part Deux.

I had the option tonight to go to a lecture by a Sudanese Refugee. He was speaking about his escape from Sudan. He wrote a book.

Alternatively, I opted for dinner at India House and an evening of the first season of House....Maybe I made the wrong choice. The selfish choice. The easy choice?

But my lower back still hurts.

How do people spend their days?

I tried to ski this morning, skinned for about 20 minutes. The pain in my lower back spread from the left side to both sides. Striding uphill, big steps on steeper terrain especially, caused lots of pain. What did I do to myself? What caused this pain?

I know how minor this is. I know that I'm very well off considering the pain that other people are put through in this world.

Nonetheless, I'm bored to tears. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not exercising. not outside doing something or driving to do something....

I'm laying low. Watching Little Miss Sunshine - SO GOOD!!!! - and hoping my back gets better soon.....

Ow...

I had a great morning skinning up Brighton. I felt strong and damn near tireless.

Then, at the park, I kicked the soccer ball for Arnie, and TWEAK. My lower back. Left side. I feel like someone is poking me with a sharp stick.

I didn't get to go for my afternoon run, and now I'm scared that this will be a long term injury. What if I can't train for the race, can't keep skiing, can't work out at all.

I'm terrified.

I know this isn't a big deal in the scheme of things; I know people are struggling hugely in this workd, with things far more concerning than this....

But nonetheless.

Readying, steadying

The 24 Hours of Sunlight is less than a month away.
The 24 Hours of Sunlight is less than a month away.
The 24 Hours of Sunlight is less than a month away.

So why am I not outside right now, in the cold dark, skinning up a hill somewhere?

I wonder if I'll get through it, I wonder if I'll finish the race, I wonder if I'll be too tired, I wonder if I'll get injured, I wonder if I'll feel embarrassed by my performance?

I wonder if I should spend the day doing laps on Brighton?